(by Geoff Brown)

On the window to my office, I like to hang challenging math puzzles for our elementary students. They are not easy but if a student is the first to find a solution, I reward them with a big box of candy.

This week, a second grader and I are standing outside, looking at that day’s math puzzle and she’s not having it. With a furrowed brow and an accusatory tone, she gives me the stink eye and says, “Uh, you know that this is way, way too hard, right?”

I respond with the typical inspirational pablum that gray-haired educators apparently feel obliged to say: “Oh yes, you can! You can do anything you set your mind to do!”

She rolls her eyes and, without missing a beat, this second grade cynic says, “Is that right? Well, Mr. Brown, how would you like to ride in a plane if I’m the pilot? Would you mind if I drove your car home today? Or, how about the next time you need a dentist, you give me a crack at it?” 

Not kidding. Second grade. That’s what she said.

It’s discomforting, but this pint-sized pessimist was right. Despite our academic aspirations and our “they-can-do-it!” hopes for our kids, this detracting, diminutive debutante had an excellent point. Without prior, proper preparation, putting our under-sized kids in out-sized situations can be downright dangerous.

And, I’m afraid that 92% of us are doing that right now.

According to the Pew Research Center, by 2015, 92% of secondary school-aged children had smartphones. Since that time, between 2015 and 2023, both the number of suicide attempts by minors and the frequency of self-harm incidents within girls aged 10 to 14 have tripled. That same Pew report further indicates that when students are talking in-person with each other, they reference self 35% of the time but when students are communicating via text and social media, that percentage jumps to 80%. The typical adolescent reports spending more than three hours on social media per day, a number which puts them at a higher risk for mental health problems: 13% of kids ages 12-17 report depression and 32% report anxiety, 25% of 18 to 25-year-olds report mental illness. You might (fairly) say that cause and effect here are largely assumptive and that correlation and causation are statistically distinct. I’m just not sure, from my unique vantage point, the stakes being what they are, that I’m willing to take that bet.

Please don’t misunderstand: I’m not saying smartphones and social media are bad. I’m just saying that they aren’t good.

At least they aren’t good for students. When I was in elementary school, 1-in-250 elementary-aged students had a severe peanut allergy. Today, that number is 1-in-40. At that point in my life, PB&J was my go-to sandwich. Today, if I walk around campus with a PB&J, folks want to press charges. How did this happen? Because all of our grand strategies for dealing with allergies have made the problem worse and pushed a generation of kids towards the peanut-allergy tipping point. My PB&J point is this: we think we know what we’re doing but the numbers tell us otherwise. A while back, I sat down and pulled a report on every disciplinary infraction that we issued for secondary students within a semester. What I discovered shocked me: 75-80% of disciplinary infractions involved students’ digital lives. Only 1-in-4 infractions were in-person, on-the-ground, real-life incidents.

Here’s my request. I believe that the evidence is clear: as a culture, we’re headed towards an inevitable digital reckoning. We have reached a point wherein the average high school student consumes 8 hours and 39 minutes of screen time per day.  Granted, not all of this screen time or media consumption is bad.  In fact, with the rise of online education and digital spiritual formation strategies, some of it is outright wonderful.  

But, the simple fact is that the voices and images on those screens are capturing more headspace for our students than anyone or anything else.  And, that being understood, we need to assess the virtues and vices of these virtual voices.

I humbly suggest that we schedule this forthcoming reckoning a bit early.  Sit down with your student at some point this weekend and ask them to do a couple of things.  But, first, be aware:  before your hind-quarters hit the chair, your student will be immediately suspicious.  “What have I done now?” they will ask.  Or, “What am I about to lose?”  Defuse these fears by explaining that you intend to take nothing and no one is in trouble.  

Rather, you simply want to ask your student to do something that you are going to do yourself.  Yes, that is the key.  The physician must work to also heal themselves.  This request cannot be an ultimatum or a threat of consequences.  If that is the case, it may not affect the sort of authentic and sustainable heart change within your student that you are hoping to encourage.

So, what are these things that I am suggesting?

First, suggest that both you and your student work to keep an honest inventory of the emotions delivered by your smartphones over the course of an entire week.  Specifically, as you engage social media, a game, a website, or a text, ask and honestly answer, “How did that make me feel?”  At the end of the week, review the highs and the lows.  Celebrate your highs and their highs.  And, demonstrate authentic empathy for the lows.

Second, ask your student to spend time assessing and recording their healthy and unhealthy engagements on the phone.  And, make certain that you do the same.  

Make certain that they understand that you are not looking to confiscate their phone if there is a tipping point towards the unhealthy.  Rather, every week or so, consider how these data points are trending.  Recognize that you won’t ever be able to eliminate the negative emotions or the unhealthy engagements.  But, if you see that week-to-week the trend is toward the negative or the unhealthy, trust your student to develop a game plan, recognizing that if you are overbearing in suggesting a solution you might undermine the maturing trust that you are working to establish.  I assure you that your student will surprise you:  they will eventually begin to self-regulate their phone behaviors.

True, initially, they may think that reducing or altering their smart phone or social media use is a bad idea but please remind them that prior to 1992, no student in the history of the planet needed one. I don’t doubt that these are hard conversations. But the fact remains that this may be one of the most important conversations that you will have.

Geoff Brown is the Superintendent of Northwest Christian School located in Phoenix, AZ. Northwest Christian School is one of the largest private Christian schools in the state of Arizona and the only ACSI Exemplary Accredited school in the state.

This post is sponsored by NCS Online. NCS Online is a fully online K-11th grade Christian school providing an online education that is rigorous, affordable, and rooted in Biblical worldview. To learn more about NCS Online, visit NCSonline.org.